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How Do You Do it?


How do you work with
Sticky fingers on the keys?
Patience, love, and grace.


From the first few weeks that my twin boys were home, everyone coming in and out would say: "Wow. I don't know how you do it!" Or in question form: "Whew! How do you do it?"
I just do. I don't know any other way.

As they grew a little older and we ventured out to library classes and to playground visits I heard it even more frequently: "Two little boys! Wow. How do you do it?" Well, I'm so glad you asked...I have no idea. I just do.

Once Felicity was born and I was out and about with 2 toddlers and an infant, the familiar question was even more frequent, along with lots of other unsolicited commentary that moms with multiple small children are all to familiar with. Who's with me?  "3 under 3?! How do you do it?" Well, still, I don't really know. But I'm doing it!

I mean, I sort of felt like by that point the general public would have expected that I write a How To guide on mommying multiple little people at once. I didn't have that planned into my busy schedule, but I probably would have been happy to read it if someone handed it to me.

Now, as my kids are all mobile and full of pre-schooler energy, I am as busy as ever. I run two businesses, devote time to non-profit organizations, write this blog (less frequently than I'd like), and manage to keep the day-to-day under general control and send my kids to bed happy most nights (except when I don't let them eat dessert before dinner. Sorry). And now, still, of course, people are always asking: How do you do it?

Well, guys, I'm glad you asked. I think I finally have an answer. I still can't write the How To Guide. But, I can tell you what I've discovered in reflecting on my nearly 5 years as a mom and my every day attempts to keep things together. It's not about knowing the right way, the best way, the easy way, or the most efficient way. It never was about those things. In fact, I think I was always getting the question wrong, which is why I never had an answer.

It is about the way you show up. The way you make things work even when you're tired, or hungry, or clueless, or just need to pee and nobody will give you 3 seconds of peace to use the bathroom. It's the way you sit at the breakfast table, surrounded by sippy cups and sticky fingers, and let them play "work" on your laptop as you open it for the day.

And you know what? You do it. I do it! We do it because they see us. We do it because we see us too. We do it with patience, love, and grace. Not just for our children, but for ourselves.

I learned this from a magician years ago and I don't think it's ever been more true. For me and for you.

How do you do it?

Very well.

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