MerryMommy

What matters the most with one precious life to live? We get what we give. Do you remember growing up and asking you parents to tell you stories about when you were a baby? Did you love to hear stories about your first words, how you learned to walk, what special relatives witnessed some of your "firsts," and what adorable things you did to make your parents smile? Maybe you're even lucky enough to have seen home videos of these memories. Well, for my 4 year old boys, their favorite stories to hear from me are from their earliest days in the NICU. Cameron will often call from the backseat: "Mommy, can you tell us the story about when we were born in the hospital?" Of course I always oblige, and by now they can tell you themselves the obstacles they overcame, who was born first, who came home first, how Cameron's heart rate dropped and he had to stay for 5 more days, and how the nurses took such special care of them when mommy and daddy weren'...

One year had passed by, Now yet another has too. Still awestruck by you.  I originally wrote this on Felcity's 1st birthday. Now with her 2nd birthday looming, I'm sharing this on the blog. My fierce little woman--cannot believe you are turning 2! It is truly unbelievable that one year ago at this moment, I was cradling my 2 hours old daughter to my chest. A sweet baby girl that I had prayed for and dreamed of. And who so delicately yet powerfully fulfilled the desires of my heart that I didn’t even know were residing there. When I laid eyes on my daughter I realized something: There is a palpable connection in becoming a mother to a daugh ter, for this is the only mother-child relationship I have ever personally known, but from the other perspective. I am a daughter of a mother. And now, I am a daughter who has a daughter. The powerful rush of ancestry tying each woman before me suddenly felt incredibly empowering yet incredibly heavy. It was my job to nurture this...

I am so sorry I can't tell what you look like My poor baby boy... You'll want to look at the accompanying picture before you read the rest of this. This is my first picture with my sweet baby Joshua. The moment we first met face to face (we had met heart to heart many months before). Unfortunately, that first face to face interaction didn't provide much of a view of his sweet little face. Instead, I saw tubes and tape and machinery. While Cameron was born able to breathe on his own, or "on room air" (which I quickly learned was a medical term never to be taken for granted again), Joshua needed some assistance. Because Joshua's water never broke, he didn't have the chance to practice his breathing exercises on the inside. And because my labor was extremely fast (3 hours start to babies), I was only able to get one steroid shot to help him out. So, sweet baby J was whisked swiftly away from me moments after delivery to get...

Three pounds eight ounces Soft, warm weight upon my chest "Tiny but Mighty" These reassuring words came from Amy, the nurse who taught me how to express milk and use a breastpump (more on that pleasure in another post), in the few hours after delivery. As she matter-of-factly went about her duties in the first hours after my twin delivery, she simply said not to worry about the boys, they would be fine: "I say they are Tiny but Mighty." Those words became my mantra over the coming weeks. I knew she was right the moment I held Cameron for the first time. As I was wheeled into the first NICU nursery I had ever been in, I glanced rapidly around the room at the various isolettes and wondered which one held my precious baby boy. I was brought around the corner to the right and Cameron's nurse, Deanna, greeted me. I peered in at this little angel and had no idea what to do: Was I allowed to hold him? To touch him? To kiss him? More importantly... Was he ...

Puuush Waaa  Puuush Waaaaa  YES! I did it! WE  did it! Wait -- Where are my babies? Welcome to my 32-week twin delivery.  My doctor told me there were three big risks with a twin pregnancy: "Preterm labor. Preterm labor. Preterm labor." So, theoretically, I had months to prepare for my twins' early arrival. And prepare I did. Or so I thought. The truth is, nothing could really prepare me. How could it? I had never in my adult life experienced someone close to me deliver a baby prematurely. Quite luckily, my family and friends had punctuated their pregnancies with healthy and happy mommy-baby units spending precious first moments in a hospital room together. Gleeful guests coming and going. Sharing family "firsts" on film (or on phone, as it goes these days). And I genuinely didn't know what else post-delivery looked like.  It wasn't until the moments Cameron and Joshua arrived did I get a glimpse--no, an IMAX 3D front row view--of wha...

Joy is the rare gift that, when given away, is returned to you. When I began this blog 4 years ago, it was focused on sharing the story of my life as a new mom of preemie twins. While those stories are still an integral part of who I am today, I knew there was a greater purpose for this blog, and that one day when I was less sleep deprived and more coherent, I would embark on the journey toward that purpose. The purpose, you ask? To spread joy and connect with people in doing so. With a name that literally means happiness, I felt compelled to share that very literal calling for as long as I can remember. If you know me personally, you know this to be true. In fact, over and over again throughout my life I have heard sentiments like this: "You are always so happy, smiling, and looking on the bright side. I wish I were like that!" Now I'm going to tell you something that you've probably heard before, but that I want you to really listen to carefully now: You c...