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In the Beginning



Puuush Waaa Puuush Waaaaa YES!
I did it! WE did it! Wait--
Where are my babies?

 Welcome to my 32-week twin delivery. 

My doctor told me there were three big risks with a twin pregnancy: "Preterm labor. Preterm labor. Preterm labor." So, theoretically, I had months to prepare for my twins' early arrival. And prepare I did. Or so I thought. The truth is, nothing could really prepare me. How could it?

I had never in my adult life experienced someone close to me deliver a baby prematurely. Quite luckily, my family and friends had punctuated their pregnancies with healthy and happy mommy-baby units spending precious first moments in a hospital room together. Gleeful guests coming and going. Sharing family "firsts" on film (or on phone, as it goes these days). And I genuinely didn't know what else post-delivery looked like. 

It wasn't until the moments Cameron and Joshua arrived did I get a glimpse--no, an IMAX 3D front row view--of what that preterm delivery looked like. I was so thrilled to have safely delivered my two boys. Moments of pure elation that I can still feel. But the brutal reality remained--after 7 hours in recovery, one short hour split between meeting each of my sons for the first time, and one long elevator ride as I left them in someone else's care, I was welcomed to my maternity ward home. No plastic cribs, no private twin room, no babies in my arms or my belly. Just me, my husband, and my surrogate child--a hospital-grade breast pump. I was drained. 
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