All women have rights.
To support them, let's unite.
You can help the fight.
So that my perspective is laid straight: I both breastfed and formula fed my twin babies. I, personally, wanted to exclusively breastfeed my babies but they were born 8 weeks early and without a sucking reflex. So, I began my breastfeeding relationship with a pump, in an isolating hospital room behind a curtain, and with blistered nipples that lasted for weeks. Not the lovely Madonna and Child image many conjure up when thinking of a mother nursing her young. My children got formula at 1 day old and for the next few days until I had enough milk to nourish them through their feeding tubes. Then, they were on calorie fortified breast milk for their time in the NICU (where they were required to suck from a bottle some of the time) and finally on full breast milk exclusively (during which many awesome Madonna and Child tandem breastfeeding moments occurred) until about 6 months when their tongue ties caught up with their demand for milk and I had to pump exclusively to bottle feed them. After a guilt-ridden, hormonal, emotionally anguishing month, I decided that when all pros and cons were considered, it was time to stop pumping, move to formula, and slowly deplete my frozen milk stash. And guess what? Formula feeding was hard too! It took over a month to find the right formulas and right bottles for each baby and the guilt of stopping breast milk was overwhelming. But then, everything sorted itself out, and we were all much happier than we had been in a couple of months.
You know what changed most drastically for me moving from breast to bottle? I never felt self-conscious or hesitant about bottle feeding my babies in public. That wasn't the case for breast feeding.
Women who are able (many are not--you are not a failure) and choose to breastfeed their babies (many choose not to--and that's ok!) are regularly asked to nurse in the bathroom, to cover themselves, are oggled at or insulted, and, maybe worst of all, are subtly made the butt of (often sexist) jokes even by people very close to them (called cows, asked for some milk for coffee, told someone is jealous of their baby, etc).
To support them, let's unite.
You can help the fight.
There is a common misconception that when women talk about desiring others to "support breastfeeding" that it is about a mommy war of breast milk vs. formula. That's not it. We all want babies to be fed, no matter the food. But please consider this: It's about women's rights.
So that my perspective is laid straight: I both breastfed and formula fed my twin babies. I, personally, wanted to exclusively breastfeed my babies but they were born 8 weeks early and without a sucking reflex. So, I began my breastfeeding relationship with a pump, in an isolating hospital room behind a curtain, and with blistered nipples that lasted for weeks. Not the lovely Madonna and Child image many conjure up when thinking of a mother nursing her young. My children got formula at 1 day old and for the next few days until I had enough milk to nourish them through their feeding tubes. Then, they were on calorie fortified breast milk for their time in the NICU (where they were required to suck from a bottle some of the time) and finally on full breast milk exclusively (during which many awesome Madonna and Child tandem breastfeeding moments occurred) until about 6 months when their tongue ties caught up with their demand for milk and I had to pump exclusively to bottle feed them. After a guilt-ridden, hormonal, emotionally anguishing month, I decided that when all pros and cons were considered, it was time to stop pumping, move to formula, and slowly deplete my frozen milk stash. And guess what? Formula feeding was hard too! It took over a month to find the right formulas and right bottles for each baby and the guilt of stopping breast milk was overwhelming. But then, everything sorted itself out, and we were all much happier than we had been in a couple of months.
You know what changed most drastically for me moving from breast to bottle? I never felt self-conscious or hesitant about bottle feeding my babies in public. That wasn't the case for breast feeding.
Women who are able (many are not--you are not a failure) and choose to breastfeed their babies (many choose not to--and that's ok!) are regularly asked to nurse in the bathroom, to cover themselves, are oggled at or insulted, and, maybe worst of all, are subtly made the butt of (often sexist) jokes even by people very close to them (called cows, asked for some milk for coffee, told someone is jealous of their baby, etc).
Breastfeeding is genuinely, incredibly, tearfully challenging for a mother. One of the reasons making it so should not be because her rights are violated by strangers or, worse, by friends and family. Women have the RIGHT to breastfeed their child and to do so wherever they are otherwise legally authorized to be.
I know, we tend to turn a blind eye when there is a social issue or violation of rights that doesn't directly impact us. Or that makes us uncomfortable. Or that doesn't fit with our personal choices. Or that makes us feel guilty. But both now and in the future this issue could impact your friend, your cousin, your wife, your daughter, your son, your grandchildren, or, maybe, you.
So please, next time you see a mother nursing her child, smile at her. Don't stare at her. If you feel compelled to comment to her or to your own companion, make it a positive comment. Support her, whether you know her or not. Women have rights. You can make a difference.
Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing mommies out there who make the best decision: feeding their children!
Did you know that breastmilk is considered a medicine in the NICU? A NICU mom's earliest breastfeeding support comes from her NICU staff, which contributes significantly to long term success.
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