MerryMommy

Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave. O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? This Memorial Day weekend was a different kind than most of us have ever experienced. The honor and respect for our flag and all those who gave their lives for it was present, but the way we recognized this honor was vastly different. There were no crowded beaches with thundering air shows above, no parades with on-lookers cheering, no marching bands performing patriotic pomp, no pools and yards full of shouts and splashes of summer's unofficial arrival. This weekend, after months of indoor isolation, we had a profoundly different kick off to summer. In fact, while we were busy outwardly honoring the lives courageously sacrificed for our nation, many of us were inwardly reflecting on the elements of our own lives we have given up these past few months in the name of our neighbor. I don't intend to compare the fleeting inconvenience of mask-wearing and social di...

Sunrise above the clouds. Surf the crisp island air. Snorkel gorgeous reefs. Swim with sea turtles. Cycle 26 miles down the side of a volcano. A short list of things I did last week in Maui. And when I returned home and shared my adventures, do you know what my children asked me, excitedly: "Mommy, you didn't get eaten by a shark?!" Me, standing there alive and well: "No... no, I didn't get eaten by a shark." With elated exclamations of amazement: "Mommy! You are so brave!!!" I wasn't quite sure if they would have been more impressed if I had  been eaten by a shark. But, I was glad to have impressed them with my survival all the same. Who knew that putting myself out of my comfort zone in all these real ways would pale in comparison to the perceived threat these children imagined me to face. But they were right about one thing: I am brave. Even though I personally made all the plans to do these adventure excursions on my vacat...

  Strong mothers.  We all know them. We look to them during difficult times.  We watch how they respond to challenges. We listen to their wisdom.  We learn from their experience.  We trust their guidance. 18 years ago today our nation’s mother, Lady Liberty, was put to the ultimate test before our very eyes.  Her twins were attacked.  These emblems of greatness were stolen from her after years of guarding them from her watchful safe harbor.  The unthinkable became reality.  We were helpless children. We looked to her. We watched. We listened. We learned. We trusted.  We became.  We became better as a nation, as neighbors, and as New Yorkers.  Today I sent my own New Yorker twins to school with their neighbors in our nation’s colors.  I told them that today we remember an attack on our country by honoring the heroes: the brave, valiant men and women who gave all f...

Big black tires slow, Screeching breaks, it's time to go. Kindergarten. Whoa. I can't believe I am saying this, but my boys started kindergarten today. Those two little preemie fighters I was just snuggling in the NICU got on the school bus and drove off to their next big chapter of childhood. I have been thinking about this day for a while and feeling so excited for them, and (let's face it) for me. I don't feel sad to "lose" them, rather proud of who they have become and the energy and love poured into getting them to this place. It is an accomplishment for both them and for me. One which I readily celebrated today. But one thing that lingered with me for the past several weeks was actually spurred by a game of Candy Land. Now, this was my favorite game as a child: The winding colorful path of sweet squares punctuated by sugary surprises, culminating in the greatest candy castle one could imagine. I love that my kids love this game as much...

To be a bright light In another's darkest days: Unforgettable. You can take the mama out of the NICU, but you can't take the NICU out of the mama. I have written about this before, but it bears repeating, especially since there are several readers new to my blog since I first wrote about my NICU experiences 4 years ago (but go check them out now to catch up). Spending time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit with infants undergoing critical, lifesaving treatment, all the while physically recovering from childbirth yourself is TRAUMATIC. It is especially conflicting because the moment that is sourcing your trauma is the exact moment society has consistently told you should be the most joyful moment of your life: becoming a mother. The smiling new mommy you see in the picture above is not the same smiling mommy you see in my feed these days. This mama of 3 week old preemie twins was struggling. She was joyful every day that her babies were growing and stable, but she ...

When raising daughters: Fill her up or dress her up? Beauty from within. Raising a little girl felt different from raising little boys right from the very moment I found out it was, in fact, a girl. Life is just different, society is different, and expectations are different for girls. Identifying as a strong, confident woman myself, and knowing the challenges we can face, I felt like I would have to start while she was very young to build up a loved and cherished yet strongly built little girl who could stand up to whatever challenges life threw her way. One of these "boy mom" vs. "girl mom" differences centered around beauty. Sure, my boys were and are completely adorable and handsome little guys, and people comment accordingly. But boys also get comments about how strong they are, how smart they are, and when they behave in a particularly caring and compassionate way, they are praised. With girls, feedback from society is almost always exclusively ...